Silvia Álava

Psychologist educational and of thealth

"The duties always are responsibility of the children, never parental ".

A guide to help children be more autonomous and learn through mistakes.

The psychology can help in many things to the parents with adolescents. The first thing, to understand very well what is what is happening in the adolescence because us have explained very well the changes physiological hormonal that happen, but not the changes psychological that happen in the adolescence. And in the adolescence, as soon as starts to free the quispeptina, all the hormone that starts to shoot all the characters sexual secondary also entails a series of changes mental and of changes psychological. Potency a lot of the critical meaning. Earlier, all that you said not questioned, and start to do it.

Always say that the children learn for modeling and that your main source of learning are the parents. When arrives the adolescence the model basic are the friends, are the identical ones, are singers sometimes, YouTubers, other things there that go finding for there, but follow needing to the parents and follow needing that the parents are there.

When the children are very small, play together with other children, not even play with them. Then the friends are circumstantial, are the boy that you have position next door with which share the pupitre, with which is in your lesson. From the eight years already is a selection more depending on the characteristics and, then, is to the twelve when really go to secure the group of friends.

Not can expect start to have a communication good and favor a good climate of confidence when arrives the adolescence. If not it have fact of small us goes to cost a lot more. The first thing that have to establish is a climate of confidence where see that can talk of all the things. And, moreover is necessary to reserve a time and a space. And a thing basic: listen. And listen is harder of what seems because when say that are doing one listens active means that I forget me and that only center on you.

The concept of punish involves that you have a thing, then, in a certain moment do something ill, I you it am removing. Then, is truth that can that learn, that rectify. Then, is better if work reinforcing the behavior positive, that is, what the boy has to do. If your duties are facts, then be able to go and be able to catch the tablet and play a ratito. Or, if already is all the room pickup, that already have collaborated at home, as perhaps can do this another small thing.

Is truth that to the children is necessary to leave them a lot of autonomy, is necessary to leave them that every time are more freelance, that are they able to solve alone the conflicts of daily life, that are able to manage the things. But the password basic goes to be in accompany. That is, during the first phases not is that I you are controlling, since know that the overprotection is one of the great errors that commit nowadays in education, but I am to your side accompanying you, and seeing that is going out all good.

Knows more than Silvia Álava

Psychologist Educational and Clinical Psychology and of the Health. Author of books as "Want that grow happy", "Tales for eat without tales" and "The psychology that us support to live”. Among your basic principles to level of education emphasizes the importance of the autonomy of the children, as well as your determined commitment of allow them make mistakes so that learn.
Which is the best way of solve conflicts child?

Is important give him to the boy the tools so that he it solves. Is necessary to talk with him. The first thing that have to do is that feel that for me is important and that you go to listen. At this time only care about your problem and go to be to the a hundred per cent in help you, to see how, it solve. Among the two, not you it go to fix I. If see that not you happens, the way of help him be say: “And you what believe? And how it do?”. You can, even, go giving clues. You train to he so that he is able to resolverlo.Si call to the father or to the mother, are passing a problem of the sphere child to the sphere of adults. And when passes to the sphere of adults already is different, because tomorrow the children come back to be friends and no longer is no problem, but the adults, perhaps, then take a little bit more. In the questions of daily life have to put the focus in teach to the boy to that the solves, not solve them to him we.

"Is important give him to the boy tools for solve conflicts with your identical ones"

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